Four friends, a wedding anniversary and a funeral

Outdoor aperos to celebrate our 23rd wedding anniversary

Four friends, a wedding anniversary and a funeral

We are now (hopefully) halfway through our four-week period of confinement and yesterday turned out to be a day of notable milestones. 

 

On the day the Queen laid to rest her husband of seventy-three years, we celebrated our 23^rd wedding anniversary, and ten kilometres into our morning bike ride, I clocked up 10,000 kilometres on my Brompton, KTTinyTourer, exactly two years from when I hit my first 1000 kilometres on her during our Bordeaux to Toulouse cycle touring trip.

 

Morning coffee and a bike ride

Some years we have been away for our anniversary, traveling France by car or by bike, and some years work commitments have kept us apart. This year we celebrated together with a bike ride, stopping to brew our morning coffee (accompanied by flapjacks) on a park picnic table, as there are no bars or cafés open here just yet. Despite keeping to within our ten-kilometre permitted radius, Adrian managed to plan a route that took us down many roads we’d never cycled on before and up a few hills I hadn’t realised existed. 

 

In the afternoon we had a socially distanced aperos in the garden with four friends, food, champagne and laughter. I was torn between watching the TV coverage of the funeral service from Windsor, for its ceremony and its place in history, and not watching something that I felt should have been a private, family goodbye to a husband, father, grandfather and great-grandfather. We settled on having the lead-up to the service on in the background as we put the finishing touches to the onion bhajis, houmous and flatbreads.

 

Much as the 19h curfew has become a tad annoying; I’ve decided I actually quite like the fact that our social gatherings have to be done and dusted by 19h. By starting at 16h, we have plenty of time for a few drinks, nibbles and a lot of laughs, all while the sun is shining, leaving me free to have a quiet evening on the sofa. This seems to be a much better fit for my body than evenings that become early mornings, and that often give rise to sore heads the following day.

 

The cutting of the banoffee pie 23 years after the cutting of the wedding cake 

We have a little ritual on our anniversary; the annual viewing of our wedding DVD. We didn’t subject our friends to this, but I might have left a few photos albums on the table alongside the drinks and nibbles, which they politely flicked through. Our evening was then spent watching two much younger looking people celebrating a wedding, with fond memories, not only of a great day, but also of those who were with us then but are no longer with us now.

Views from the bike, within 10km from home

 

This morning we have been out on the bikes again, logging more kilometres #ForBen and the virtual challenge to get from UK to Bangkok and back before the 27^th April. There are still quite a few kilometres to go, so if you’d like to help by logging your walking, running or cycling kilometres, you can do so here. 

For Ben; One Year on, The road to Bangkok (and back)

#ForBen The Road to Bangkok

Today is the day we should have been heading south east to the Correze for a few days away to celebrate our wedding anniversary this weekend. Thanks to current restrictions, the furthest we got was twenty kilometres to the nearest Lidl for the weekly shop. The fields of bright yellow colza, the blossom in the apple orchards and the wisteria dripping from stone cottages, certainly brightened up the drive, but left me wondering what sights and colours we’d have seen on our way to the Correze.

 

Instead of the routes Adrian had planned for us while away, our cycling will have to stay closer to home, but for the next fortnight it’s the kilometres that will count, not where we go.

 

Last April we lost our nephew Ben, and in his memory, we took part in a virtual challenge with teams logging their kilometres as they covered the distance from Loughborough in the UK to Istanbul in Turkey, and back again. This event reached thousands of people and raised over £30,000 for mental health charities working towards suicide prevention in young people.

 

#ForBen The Road to Bangkok

This year, Ben’s squadron friends and family set their virtual sights on Bangkok and walkers and runners have been logging the kilometres since Ben’s birthday on 2^nd April. They are now halfway there and have opened up the challenge to cyclists too, in the hope we can get them there and back again before 27^th April, the first anniversary of Ben’s death.

 

There are no teams this year, just a link to log your activity, on foot or two wheels. If you’d like to join us, here is the link to use.

 

To check on the progress of the challenge, click here.

 

To read more about the challenge and follow the regular updates, see the For Ben Facebook page here.

 

Finally, here is the link to the Virgin Money page, which has already got a total of almost £5,000 which will be split between Papyrus, Shout and CALM.

#ForBen The Road to Bangkok

 

We are living in extraordinary times that have put a lot of pressure and stress on us all. Mental health issues, now more than ever, need to be talked about and addressed, not ignored or stigmatised.

Challenges and milestones

Sometimes it's difficult to keep going

Looking back to the pre-pandemic glory days of 2019, I note that ‘challenge’ was the word I used to describe the year. If only I’d known what was just around the corner, as 2020 has certainly been the year of challenges so far. Some were expected, like the ones I set myself on the bike, some were not. Covid-19 rocking up and locking us all down, and the knock-on effects hampering Adrian’s ability to travel and work, were not what I expected, but then neither was losing our nephew Ben to suicide, and the huge hole that he has left in our family. 

 

There are some days when I still struggle to fully comprehend where we are now, and I find it quite difficult to think about what lies ahead. Which might explain the lack of recent blog posts. I’m not sure that the three of us have grieved properly for Ben yet, and not being able to spend time together with our family in the UK (many of whom are vulnerable and still self-isolating) hasn’t helped.

 

Cycling #ForBen Team Kharma

During lockdown it looked unlikely that I’d see any of my cycling challenges come to fruition, but as restrictions were lifted, we realised that in this extraordinary year, we owed it to ourselves to seize every opportunity that came our way. Cycling has given us the focus and motivation to keep going, and that started with us taking part in the virtual cycling challenge From Loughborough to Istanbul; For Ben. Being just a small part in this amazing event, which has raised over £30,000 for charities working to prevent suicide in young people, was very humbling but also a great help.

 

Triumph at climbing my first Col, on the Côte d'Azur

The challenges I set myself this year were in two sets of twenty. The first being to ride in twenty different French departments (states/counties), and as August draws to a close, I've managed a respectable thirteen. 

The other twenty was made up of:

Climbing five mountain cols (passes).

Five consecutive days cycling over 50 km a day. 

Five 100 km in a day.

Five shopping trips using the bike instead of the car.

 

Conquering the Cols in the Pyrenees

Living somewhere flat meant the cols were conquered whilst on holiday in Provence and the Pyrenees, and earlier this month I smashed my target having climbed thirteen cols and got to the top of Mont Ventoux. 

 

August has been a month of milestones. Last week I clocked up a pretty impressive 418 km, making it the furthest distance I’ve cycled in a week this year, as well as completing my five consecutive days cycling over 50 km, and the second of my 100 km in a day. 

 

This August I have also beaten the 2019 mile (3250 km) target I set (and achieved) last year, despite hardly using the bike for the two months of lockdown and I’ve hit another first; cycling over 1000 km in a single month. 

 

In the Marais Poitevin, August 2020, 1000 km cycled

Yes, you did read that correctly. Almost 49 year old me, with my short legs, small frame (me and the bike) and little wheels, has cycled over one thousand kilometres this month, almost three thousand five hundred this year so far and nearly seven thousand since buying my Brompton #KTTinyTourer at the end of 2018.

 

Market shopping in Montbrun-les-Bains

The one I'm struggling on the most is the shopping, which I thought would be the easiest. Thanks to Covid-19 we have stopped popping to the shops for a few bits but have been more organised doing a regular big shop by car and eliminating some of the risk of going to the supermarket. We have, however, managed to reduce the amount we use the car by making the bikes our main mode of transport for social journeys and tasks like picking up prescriptions from the pharmacy and even parcels from the local delivery point. Friends are now so used to seeing us on the bikes we’ve had a few comments when we’ve been spotted out in the car, along the lines of “not on your bikes today then?”

 

I've climbed Mont Ventoux, all the way up there

Some of the things we have challenged ourselves to, including climbing Mont Ventoux at an altitude of 1912m, the Col d’Aubisque (1709m) and the Col du Tourmalet (2115m), have been hard work on the body and the mind and I’m still amazed I did it. One thing it has taught me is that there is something quite cathartic about pushing my body to its limits, hearing my heart pumping and feeling my lungs bursting with air, knowing it is a privilege to be alive in a year when so many have been lost.  

 

A family bike ride at the end of a hot summer day

I may not be quite there on all my challenges yet, but for a weird year, I'm pretty pleased with my progress so far. I do have a niggling worry though, what if I have peaked too soon achieving all this in the year I turn forty-nine, rather than in the run up to my big 50? I’ll just have to hope that 2021 has something much bigger and better waiting for me to achieve.

 

Our next challenge is to get Ed back to Poitiers for a safe university rentrée and to adapt once more to life as empty nesters. 

 

 

 

Conquering Mont Ventoux

Mont Ventoux by Brompton #KTTinyTourer

Two weeks ago, I achieved something epic, something that put me way out of my comfort zone and something that six years ago I would not even have considered attempting. I cycled up Mont Ventoux, the Beast of Provence; a barren, rocky mountain summit, almost 2000m above sea level where little grows. A cyclist’s dream ascent (or nightmare), home to many Tour de France winning highs, but also lows, notably the death of Tom Simpson, one kilometre from the top, in July 1967.

 

We had arrived in Montbrun-les-Bains on Wednesday afternoon, for the second part of our South of France, post-confinement getaway, and a quick check on the weather forecast told us that Thursday morning would be our best chance of kind weather to attempt Mont Ventoux.

 

This had been Adrian’s dream since early 2014, when the plan had been to spend some time in the area on our Mini Cooper road trip, with Adrian hiring a road bike from Sault and cycling to the top of the mountain. I would provide the back-up, food stops and water refills from the comfort of Gizmo, the Mini. It never even entered our heads to think of parking up Gizmo for the day, hiring two bikes and cycling up together. My fitness at that time would have made it impossible. Gizmo breaking down on day two of our road trip, meant it was impossible for Adrian that year too.

 

In 2017 he planned once more to give it a go. There is something about Mont Ventoux that when it takes hold, its grip is difficult to shake off. Once again, he never even made it to the start point, having crashed off his bike in the Ardeche, damaging his shoulder. There was a small part of my head that felt someone was trying to warn us away from this particular cycling challenge and the best thing to do would be to forget all about it. Then earlier this year I found myself thinking, what if we give it one more go, to celebrate his 50^th birthday and this time do it together? Everything seemed to be in alignment this time. Cycling has become a regular part of our lives, winter and summer, meaning we are both much fitter now than either of us were six years ago. His Mum gave me her blessing, even agreeing to come over and dog sit while we were away and the cherry on the top was discovering that due to road works at the summit, the road would be closed to motor traffic all this year. Then Covid-19 burst into our lives and all plans were on hold.

 

Adrian celebrated his 50^th during lockdown with a virtual ascent of Mont Ventoux on his turbo trainer in the garden, but it didn’t quite quench his thirst. A quick look on the map of France when planning our route to and from Lou Messugo on the Côte d’Azur, showed us that Mont Ventoux was once more a possibility. Something even more poignant was that our last conversation with our nephew Ben before he died, was about cycling up Mont Ventoux. This time it seemed the mountain was ready for us.

Mont Ventoux in the distance from Montbrun-les-Bains

 

The closer we got to Mont Ventoux on the drive in, the bigger and more intimidating the landscape looked, despite a pleasing, softening blush of lavender in its first days of flower all around us. The enormity of Mont Ventoux and our plans to attempt to climb it really hit home, right in the pit of my stomach. I could taste and feel my fear. A quick text to fellow blogger Julie, from Vauclause Dreamer, who has conquered Ventoux on her bike many times, helped to calm my nerves. Her advice was to take it slowly, don’t rush it, stop when I wanted to and enjoy the ride. I’m not sure I’d ever considered the possibility of enjoying it until I read her text, but it worked.

 

The climb from Sault is twenty-eight kilometres, but we were staying twelve kilometres from Sault and not wanting to use the car unnecessarily, at 8.30am I found myself cycling (uphill) towards a morning coffee stop in Sault where the top of Mont Ventoux looked a long way away. 

 

By the time we set off a steely determination had taken the place of the fear, especially as we were doing this For Ben, clocking up the kilometres on our virtual cycling challenge to get our teams the 7500kms from Loughborough to Istanbul and back. Our Mont Ventoux kilometres would be special ones as today would also be the day that the fundraiser hit its £30,000 target.

 

Lavender fields leaving Sault

I don’t remember every twist and turn in the road, but I do remember cycling through fields of lavender, the sun warming us as we slowly began the climb. The fields were then replaced with pine forest and steeper corners where cyclists who had already been up were sweeping down towards the sunnier planes. There were other cyclists with us, some who overtook us, some who we overtook. Some were friendly, some ignored us with our odd looking small wheeled bikes. Those who did speak, wanted confirmation that they were electric assist, which they are not – if only we had a euro for every time that was asked.

Tom Simpson memorial Mont Ventoux

 

At Chalet Reynard we feasted on coffee and snacks, the stark rocky mountain looking fierce from the bend in the road where the café is safely situated. The final six kilometres are the hardest, but I was ready. Slow and steady I plodded on, turning the pedals rhythmically and steadily. Some were out of their saddles, rocking from side to side with the effort, not me, I just sat and concentrated on safely getting to the top. I even managed to smile for some of the professional photographers who sit in wait to snap you at your lowest point, and although many overtook me, surprisingly there were some who I overtook too. We stopped, as is the custom, at the Tom Simpson memorial, my legs shaking with the effort to stand, the last kilometre looking to be the longest yet. The view is harsh here, with no contrast from left to right, just stark rock all around, and the only thing to do is keep looking forward and turning the pedals, each turn a little closer to the top.

Top of Mont Ventoux

 

Rounding the last bend and joining the throng of weary cyclists at the top was quite a strange feeling. I’d done it. I hadn’t had to get off and walk and my legs no longer felt like jelly as they had only a kilometre ago. My breathing wasn’t dry and ragged like I’d thought, I didn’t even need to sit down. I was smiling and elated as I stood proudly at the sign for my victory photo. Mont Ventoux was conquerable and we’d done it, in Adrian’s 50^th year and #ForBen.

Together and smiling as we cycle up Mont Ventoux

The start of Team Kharma's ride to Istanbul

Team Kharma cycling #ForBen

Team Kharma is on its way

Yesterday saw the start of the cycle leg of the challenge For Ben; To Turkey and back, with seven teams setting off to cover the 7500kms from Loughborough in the UK to Istanbul and back again. 

Ben's bike

Adrian and I are heading up Team Kharma, named after Ben’s beloved Kouta Kharma road bike that he got great pleasure in riding. There aren’t many of our family who share our passion for cycling, but Ben did, and we are looking forward to doing our bit in this challenge, that has now raised over £27,000.

Team Kharma [Brompton Unit]

We got such a great response from friends with bikes keen to help us out, that we have split Team Kharma into two, creating a Brompton Unit for our fellow friends with smaller wheels. The plan is for Adrian and me to log our kilometres in whichever team needs us the most at the end of the day, oh, yes, we are hoping to be out on the bikes every day.

By yesterday evening, Team Kharma were just crossing the Thames at the QE2 Bridge and Team Kharma [Brompton Unit] were hot on their heels in Ashford, Kent, which was a fantastic effort for both teams. 

My first 31km for Team Kharma

I must stress this isn’t a race and while some of our friends clocked up pretty impressive distances on solo rides, others were from family rides, shopping trips or pre-apéro runs with friends (that was us!). Every kilometre helps so thank you all for a great first day.

Kharma the flamingo, team mascot

You may notice a new friend in all of my pictures; Kharma the flamingo, bought to sit in our garden to remind of us Ben. I have decided she will be the Team Kharma mascot and accompany us on all our rides on this challenge. I think after that she will deserve a rest and will live out her days in the garden, as planned.

Team Kharma apéro cycle

My small contribution to the first day was 31km for Team Kharma [Brompton Unit], with Adrian in the morning. A gentle ride into the westerly wind, through quiet villages and fields of wheat, just beginning to turn yellow. Then a 26km ride for Team Kharma with Adrian, Ed and our friends in the afternoon, which was a fun and chatty ride that finished with shared apéros in our friends back garden.

You can follow our progress on the map here.

Find For Ben; To Turkey and Back on Facebook here.

Visit the JustGiving page here.

Thank you to everyone who has supported us so far.

For Ben; cycle challenge to Istanbul and back

Team Kharma, virtually cycling 7360km to Istanbul and back #ForBen

Cycling Friends wanted for an epic virtual challenge.

For Ben; To Turkey and Back

As some of you may already know we tragically lost our 22-year-old nephew Ben to suicide a month ago. Ben, an army undergraduate, had been instrumental in planning a Trans-Europe exercise with his squadron from Loughborough University to Istanbul and back, for this summer. In his memory, and to raise money and awareness for neurodiversity and mental health issues in young people, his squadron mates set up the virtual challenge, “For Ben; To Turkey and Back”. Over 800 runners and walkers have already begun to log their kilometres in order to get eight teams the 7360kms from Loughborough to Istanbul and back. The original JustGiving target of £4600 was surpassed in 24 hours and currently stands at over £22,000.

 

#ForBen Loughborough to Istanbul and back

Team Kharma

Now it’s our turn and we need your help. We have set up Team Kharma and are looking for cycling friends to help us log the 7360kms and if we can, catch up with some of the other teams. All we require from you to join our team is to log your kilometres on a dedicated website (team link will be sent out to anyone wanting to join us) every time you take your bike out. There is no need for Strava etc, just record your distance and any distance will be appreciated. We are not expecting anyone to cover this distance alone, so even if you only use your bike to pop to the shops, we want you on our team. 

We would also love it if you could share the For Ben; To Turkey and Back Facebook page with your family and friends in order to spread the message that no one is alone, there is always someone you can turn to.

For more information check out the Facebook page or the JustGiving page and if you want to join us at Team Kharma, just contact me here or on Facebook. We are planning to start our journey on Saturday, please join us when you can.

Even if cycling is not your thing, we’d still love it if you could share this post, the For Ben Facebook page or the JustGiving page.

Thank you.

#For Ben; to Turkey and back